Busy Fun Week

The last week in October is always so much fun for our family!  October 29th is our first date anniversary (it was a blind date).  October 30th is our wedding anniversary.  And then we love Halloween!
Tuesday, the 29th, Steve and I said our 'I love yous' a little more than usual.  He told me how much he loved me and that he feels so blessed to have married me!  That night he brought home my surprise!  He got me these super awesome, amazing boots!  Oh, I was SO excited!  Well...then I went to try them on.  I have a bad leg so it was difficult and felt weird to get the first one on so I just figured it was the wrong boot.  So I tried the other boot.  It went on but was still awkward and painful to put on.  No worries, I'll put the other one on and it'll all work out.  Yeah...no!  The other boot was also a right foot.  Eek!  Steve just kept saying, "no way, this did not happen, you have got to be kidding me!".  Long story, shorter...I think it's a blessing because we can return them because they made the mistake and sent two right boots.  I will not keep them because of the pain of putting them on is just not worth the beauty and the price.  :(
Wednesday, the 30th, Steve wrote me a text that said if he hadn't married me already he'd ask me again.  I answered that I would say, yes, again!  I do love that man!  -- That night we went to the aquarium for a special night of trick or treating fun.  Brooke was a black kitty cat and Madi was Ariel.  There were games set up and booths where they were handing out candy.  They had a scream contest and costume contests.  We did the scream contest....when they came to Madi she wouldn't do it.  Brooke did good but she didn't wait for him to count to 3 before she blared out her scream.  lol  It was too cute!

 

 

 

And then on Halloween, Brooke had Farm Day at her school, then we had Fish Bites practice and then we headed downtown.  A church in the area puts on a carnival with games, food, balloons, face painting, and a bouncey house every year.  It was packed and FUN!

Easy Microwave Peanut Butter & Chocolate Fudge

I have really enjoyed "getting to know" Courtney through her Women Living Well website and now her book.  She is an inspiration to stay at home Christian mommies that need some genuine outlooks on life!  I was checking out her blog and found a recipe for Easy Microwave Peanut Butter Fudge.  You can go check it out here:  http://womenlivingwell.org/2013/10/easy-peanut-butter-fudge-in-the-microwave/  After looking at the recipe I realized I had all the ingredients plus some!  Yippee!  You know me, I have to change things up a bit so I added chocolate chips so that it's more of a chocolate/peanut butter fudge. It still turned out awesome!  (I made two goofs that I will correct the next time I make it - I forgot the vanilla AND I on ly put a little over a cup of confectioners sugar - oops!!)  I'm going to be sharing with my new sweet friend and Youth Pastor at our church MaryAnn!  She totally went out of her way for me and I really appreciated it!!

So....here's the recipe with changes:

Monday Miracles 10-14-13

Miracles happen around us all the time.  I have two little miracles that bless me with their presence everyday!  I feel like a miracle has happened when I find a front row parking spot or if something falls but it doesn't break.  I, also, see the little miracles that occur in not so pleasant situations.  Our move here to North Carolina was a bit shaky.  Miraculously we found a pretty cool place to live (we only had 4 choices).  We have met some wonderful people and have become a part of some wonderful events.  I feel like a miracle occurred when my girls were assigned their teachers.  Brooke's teacher could not have been more perfect for her personality and likewise with Madi's teacher.  Both will bring out my girls strengths and work on their weaknesses.  Yea!
And so back to the reason for this post!  I am going to point out some of the miracles in our life on Mondays.  Monday Miracles will start 9-21-13.  Some people keep a gratitude journal, I'm going to start keeping a miracle journal.

New Driver's License & License Plate

Since my birthday falls in September I HAD to get my licenses taken care of this month.  The driver's license process was fairly simple.  I went by to make an appointment.  They said they didn't take appointments, gave me a book to read and a sheet that had the list of things I would need to bring with me.  I was to bring in my Florida Driver's License, a current bill from my local address, my Social Security card and my insurance card.  When they had called, and I had just sat down, the guy behind me had just failed the test....again.  The only reason I know that it was again is that he stated that the previous test that he failed was different.  She explained that there are three variations so that memorization isn't one of the "tactics" of passing the tests.  I passed, yea!!  However, I didn't remember that the Railroad sign was round.  There weren't any criss crosses or RR written on it just a blank circle that I was to name as the Railroad sign.  Obviously, a lot of people don't know that because she just told me and we moved on.  Let me add, this entire process took less than 30 minutes.  The DMV was NOT busy!  Who'd a thunk it!?  It was $35 to get my license.  I had my picture taken and I was on my way.
The license plate couldn't be ordered until my NC Driver's License came in.  The DMV for the license plate is in the back of a small hometown Pharmacy/Gift Shop combo.  1st visit:  they gave me the list of items needed - oh by the way, I had to bring my title in.  2nd visit:  title in hand - then I was given the total - ouch, had to go to the bank because they don't take plastic.  3rd visit:  cash in hand - transaction done (or so I thought)  4th visit:  can I get my title back?  now that I think about it, I should have realized that I would be getting a NC title for my van but it didn't occur to me that they would keep my Florida one for good.  Anywho, the ladies were very nice and all is ordered.  The temporary plate is on and my personalized one will be in the mail in the next 4-6 weeks.  It was $360 to get the license plate for my van.  That included the State Tax that could be itemized on our taxes next year.  It's was $30 extra to get the personalized plate - I figured it was worth it so that everyone knows that I am 1-2SMILE.  :)
And so it goes, another step closer to being officially a North Carolinian!

Why I Am Who I Am

     

     For so long, I wanted to make sense of my weaknesses or lack of understanding who I “should” be.  I didn't know that I could just “be”.  Even through most of my adult life I have struggled with the questions such as, “who am I?” and “what is my purpose on this earth?”  I would flounder from churches to nightclubs trying to “find” myself.  It didn't occur to me that I needed to learn to love and forgive myself first.  I went from friend to friend, job to job, church to church, bar to bar trying to “fit in”.  Each situation would bring a short term satisfaction but there was almost always a disconnect somewhere.  I was looking in the wrong places.  I didn't think to look in the mirror!  I didn't want to get to know the true self that I was already inside of me.  I didn't think I would like her.  I didn't think she would let me have “fun” anymore.  It just seemed to be too painful!       

     You see, I have fought depression and anxiety my whole life.  I didn't know that's what it was for a very long time.  I just didn't feel right so I would lash out in different ways:  alcohol, cigarettes, hanging with the wrong crowd, and self-sabotaging just to name a few.  I have always had superficial friendships and I've always been a great faker!  "Fake it till you make it" was a mantra of mine for a long time.  I grew up faking my feelings and emotions so it is totally understandable that it continued into my adulthood.  I did have some close friendships but mostly my friendships were superficial and more of a social convenience.  There weren't many deep conversations or there wasn't much accountability involved.  Oh, as you can imagine, I had ZERO boundaries.  That would be until I met Lisa.  One of the pivotal moments in my life was when she dismissed me from her life.  She literally disappeared!  Since I had such a shallow understanding of friendships, I couldn't imagine what I had done to cause this abrupt disconnection.  Thankfully we ran into each other a year or so later and she shared with me what happened.  Our conversation made me look at how I had treated her and how bad of a friend I had been.  In order to be her friend, I had to be “true”….true to her and true to me.  Lisa gave me the opportunity to be her friend again but this time on terms that would benefit both of us.  A true friendship!  I understand so clearly now why she did what she did.  She was protecting herself.  She was making the right choices and she was tired of me not being a true friend.  She showed me that standing alone with your true self is so much better than standing with a whole bunch of false friends.  She taught me how to go about being her friend again. 
     When I look back on this time in my life, I realized how naive I was.  I didn't want to address anything that would crack the surface because then I may just crumble.  Going deep was so bizarre to me that I thought it would reveal some things about me that I didn't want to address.  I tried counseling many different times.  I was so good at the faking thing, I would even fake out the counselors.  It is ridiculous how much money I spent to be an hour of entertainment for these counselors.  Through the many that I saw, there were a few that I actually learned from.  I learned that my hurts are just that, hurts.  They can be healed.  I also learned that the ugliness of facing your inner most self can be freeing and result in seeing your fears, regrets and overall past as just another part of growing.  I learned that my circumstances at that time didn't have to define me for life.  

     After fighting for nothing except fun and short term self-fulfillment for most of my life I had finally started grounding myself in all of the wonder that living a life of TRUE purpose and meaning can bring!  For several years now I have been building up to truly understanding who I am, what I want and how I can grow from embracing my past and then releasing it because that's what it is the Past.  I was watching Kung Fu Panda with my girlies and the turtle said, "Yesterday is History.  Tomorrow is a Mystery.  But Today is a Gift, that's why they call it the Present".

     Another pivotal moment in my life happened when I married my hubby!  I felt a shift in my life.  I was changing!  When my girls were born I felt a complete shake to my foundation.  I fought to not change!  I wanted to hold onto the shell.  I didn't want to follow the path of self-discovery.  It is shocking to me now how much I wanted to stay on the path of self-destruction, not on the positive path of self-discovery.  I was so glad that even though I wasn't following my destiny, I didn't stop trying and I didn't stop growing in my walk with the Lord.  Slowly but surely, I have come to the realization that I am THAT girl that I had been striving to be for so long.  I am living like God means for to!  I am a good friend!  I am not afraid and I don’t regret my painful past.  It is what has brought me to the fabulous place I am now.   I am strong, vibrant and happy because I lived through that time and I am here to share it or at least acknowledge it as part of me but not let it define me for who I am as a whole.  I am continuing to discover the blessings of what life has to offer!  All and all, my ultimate goal is to be the best wife, mom, daughter, sister, & friend that I can!  I want to cherish my moments!  All the moments in my life intertwined equals what you see and what you see is the real me.  No more fakin'!  No more stinkin' thinkin'!  No more fear!  Just being me.... 

 

Jeremiah 29:11  (NIV) ~ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

                   

Cinnamon Roll Goodness!

We had my brother-in-law, sister-in-law and nephew over for the night and so I wanted to make something for breakfast that was quick and yummy!  I enjoyed these so much, I had to share them with you!  So easy...So good!  It all starts with Grands Flaky Biscuits!  I hardly ever measure so if you are a specific kind of baker and follow a recipe word for word, stop reading right now.

Take the biscuits and make them as flat as you can, thin them out until they are kind of like pancakes.  I just smooshed them with my fingers.  I took each biscuit and coated it with a mixture of white sugar, brown sugar and cinnamon.  I coated it really good and then rolled it up and cut it into thirds.  Then I took a tiny muffin pan and put each third into a pocket.  I used the run off of sugar & cinnamon and poured it on top of each muffin.  Then I baked them as the packaging said.  While they were baking I made up a sugar glaze with confectioner sugar, melted butter and a couple of tablespoons of milk.  When the rolls were done I poured some glaze on top and let them cool just enough to grab and go!  Everyone really loved them!  I hope you enjoy them, too!  :)

  

The Plan...

We have accomplished quite a bit since arriving here on the Outer Banks!  The girls are registered for school.   I found a Mommy & Me group and joined it!  I was able to join a softball team.  We got our library cards.  My amazing mommy took care of all the details of getting the furniture to us and getting our house on the market!  Our house is now FULL!  I got my fishing license and we've fished a few times now.  Steve has continued to not feel good and feel like something terrible is wrong until a couple of days ago!  He has turned a corner and so shall I!  My Plan is to start getting this house into shape.  Today we have a play to go to and then tomorrow my sister-in-law is meeting to get the girls for a couple of days.  I'm going to work really hard to have lots of this house done by the time they get back on Saturday.  I have to get the downstairs stuff organized so that I know what I'm keeping to use now and what I'm keeping to pack away until who knows when.  There is a mountain of craft supplies that have to be organized.  Lots of clothes that have to be decided on and then organized for easy access.  Lots to do.  I'm going to face all of this with joy, why?  Because I have stuff to organize!  Because I have a roof over my head!  Because I am blessed!  It really should be fun if I go into it believing that it will be fun!  Sometimes it's just a mindset....